The Home Birth of James Solomon

(I want to preface this very personal post by saying that there is no wrong way to give birth. This was simply my experience and not only do I not judge people for their births, I don't even feel like I should have an opinion on another woman's experience. I will say that I am passionate about every woman feeling like they were respected, however their baby's birth played out. Home birth is not for everyone but I would ABSOLUTELY do it again if Sol had not been our last baby.) 

I love the process of having our babies. I love trusting my body completely and seeing how each birth plays out uniquely to each of my kids. I love that I was educated, and my body cooperated, to have healthy pregnancies, labors, births, and babies. I love being surrounded by people that believe in the power of undisturbed birth. I love that my husband was an active participant in our babies' births. I love holding my baby for the first time and knowing that it was them all along. And I really love that I ended that chapter of my life at home.

Sol was our only baby that did not come early. He was also the only baby I was temporarily put on bed rest for. We were fully anticipating a June baby but he had other plans, and ended up coming right on his time, 6 days after my "due date." A full moon, thunderstorm and 2.5 hour labor finally brought our baby earthside.

I certainly didn't have much warning with Sol. I was as an uncomfortable as I had been for weeks and around 10:15 pm I was waiting for the bath tub to fill when I realized I was trickling fluid. I told Jameson, and he said he was going to take a nap. I called the midwife and she said to take a bath and call her back when my contractions started. After the bath, I tried laying down for awhile. I had had a couple of very spaced out contractions but noted the time anyway. I had a 12 minute break between, followed by a 7 minute break, then a five minute break, but I knew from already having three babies that these contractions HURT so at 11:45 pm I asked my midwife to come then as she was an hour away. And then they started coming every 2 minutes.

Jameson started filling the birth tub as I paced and eventually jumped in the shower to work through the contractions. My mom had arrived in case the girls woke up and I had called our friend Ashley who was going to photograph for us. I kept asking if the tub was ready when I felt "that" feeling to start pushing. It was sometime between me leaving the shower and jumping in the not quite full tub that my midwife arrived, but I honestly cannot remember her getting here.

As I laid in the pool in our kids playroom, I had a few moments of rest before I instinctively flipped over and began pushing. Jameson had been behind me and when I turned over he held me for the last few minutes of my labor. What I remember most about Sol's birth was, for the first time ever, I didn't feel overwhelmed by what my body was doing. Yes, it f%#&*+! hurt, but I somehow found the ability to channel that and work with my body as I felt my baby moving down.






At 12:53 am, only 13 minutes after my midwife arrived, our baby was born into the water and as I brought him up to my chest, and my hand felt something they never had on one of our babies before, Jameson yelled, "He's got balls!" and we were face to face with our son.

 Holding our boy, I moved from the tub into our bed where Sol immediately started nursing and the midwife checked both of us over. After a shower, a meal, and a clean bill of health, we settled in for a few hours before the girls awoke to their new baby brother.

I cannot put into words how this little boy has changed me and our family. I never knew how much I always wanted a son until I became his mom. He is our last baby and, together with his sisters, we have completed our family. 

All photos courtesy of dKin Photography.

This is for us

Our baby boy that hasn't made his blog debut turns one on Thursday. This, encouragement from my husband, and a gut wrenching experience proving just how quickly everything *possessions* can be lost has caused me to return to this space as our family's historian.

I don't want to record facts in this space about my kids heights, weights, and grades. I don't want to justify our lifestyle or pursuade anyone to raise their kids similarly. In fact, part of the reason I stopped writing here was for that very reason. If having four kids has taught me anything, it's that there really isn't a right answer for any of this. Things I thought I would never do or always do have been lost in the responsibility of meeting four little individual people's needs while maintaining some semblance of sanity and a healthy marriage. The older my kids get and the more years of being a mother I experience, I see flaws along the way how things could have been better for all of us if I had let go of what I thought I should be doing or what everyone expected me to do, and just did what worked.

This summer is a first for our family. We've now experienced what school does to a child, their siblings, and their mother and just how sweet the return of everyday, all day, family life is for all of us. For the first time in our family's life, we aren't waiting to see who will complete our family. This is us and I know I am experiencing things for the last time with Sol. Even typing that wells my eyes. I honestly cannot say that I will get to be home with him everyday until he starts school like I was with Lucy. Our family needs are changing and I want to be flexible. For the first time in 7 years, I am thinking about my career again and the "what's next" of my life after tiny babies.

For me, this space is a place where I get to step back from the ALL-ness of being home with 4 kids and see what stood out as memorable. I have spent every.single.day. of my kids life with them. I'm not bragging. There are times I shouldn't have. Times I should have forced myself to get help in caring for them and, in turn, me. But what the never ending ALL-ness has taught me, is that I still forget. I look at pictures of the girls and don't even remember the days when their hair fell that way. I certainly can't remember all the hilarious and inappropriate things they have said and how exactly did we spend all of those seemingly endless days of just being home? 

So I hope to be back here regularly, a place to record and release. There are stories I definitely want to share, like that time I had a baby in our playroom, and hopefully our craziness will help your life seem a littler more normal, or at least give you a good laugh. Our story is quite literally an open book and if you drive by and see the lanterns lit on the porch, grab a beer and meet us out back for a bonfire.