15 Weeks with #3

This is the first blog post I have written about baby #3. I have recorded a few things personally but putting this out there for the world, this is a first. See, even though it's our 3rd baby, it's all new this time around. It's a fourth pregnancy. It's our rainbow baby. It's realizing the true miracle and fragility of it all and how quickly and without warning it can be taken away. It's setting numerous milestones and passing each one. It's not taking a single day, or symptom, for granted. It's allowing myself to become connected to this baby.
The first trimester was rough; physically and emotionally. I was sick 24 hours a day from 7-9ish weeks and still sick at some point of the day until week 15. I was exhausted, that has not stopped. I was worried every second of every day and can admit I did not let myself get to excited or attached. We made it to week 13. Then got a phone call. I had tested positive for Factor 5 Leiden, a genetic blood disorder. I was being sent to a maternal and fetal specialist in the next few days. The fact that I had already grown and delivered Lucy and Vada perfectly gave me little comfort, because one I had not. The appointment consisted of an extensive ultrasound which showed a perfectly proportioned, healthy, beautiful baby. The doctor told me to do nothing differently.

So here we are. Two weeks into the second trimester and growing by the day. I am completely exhausted by the end of the day but I blame that as much on the older two than baby. Some days I cannot get enough to eat and others I only eat at meal times. I have had to ask for help from James in stopping the sour patch bites addiction but allow myself as much spicy food as I can consume. I feel like my belly is HUGE but am not complaining one bit about that. I keep wondering why a baby the size of an apple needs room the size of a basketball. I feel very lucky to not have too many aches and pains yet and pilates seems to be helping most that I do experience. James and I have picked out the boy name for sure and are back and forth on a couple of girls names. I think baby is a girl, as does Lucy, but James thinks boy. We should be finding out in the next few weeks. This baby will be delivered at Special Beginnings birth center which I am really excited about. I feel completely at ease there and look forward to being in the most home-like setting covered by insurance. Unfortunately, home births are not.
This week I am most looking forward to finally feeling the baby move and starting to research some things that we will need to buy to prepare for this baby. Some things just don't make it to a third baby I have learned. All for now!

To Lucille, on your 3rd birthday

What a woman! Or should I say lady. You truly are a remarkable little lady in every sense of the word. Your favorite color is pink and nail polish, lip gloss, and make-up do not stand a chance in your reach. You are debating wanting earrings on a weekly basis and most recently decided you only want one like Poppy has. You had your first haircut the week before your birthday after much deliberation and when we left you told me, "See Mom, I love having my hair cut." You asked to go back the next day.
Your third birthday party was a tea party complete with hats, gloves, and jewelry for the little ladies and bow ties for the gentlemen. You loved every tiny detail of picking out recipes and planning for the big day. The entire week before every morning you would follow your good morning with a "is it my birthday today?"
Your manners are impeccable when you want to use them and you remind me daily to be an example to you of what a lady says and does. Most often in the car when I lose my patience you tell me, "Mom, girls don't say that." When you really like whatever meal Daddy or I have prepared you tell us thank you for making this dinner/lunch. Your tastes are more attuned to daddy's cooking than mama's meaning you love home cooked meals of meat and potatoes. Your current favorites are lamb chops, pot roast, and any sort of potato. You ask for either oatmeal or yogurt every morning for breakfast and help me set and empty the table for most meals.
I still rock you to sleep for every nap but at bed time lately you have been asking to be laid down in bed after reading a story. That doesn't stop you from talking to yourself or singing until as late as 10pm some nights.
Some of my favorite Lucy sayings lately include... "You are most welcome," "Sorry about that mom," and "Never."
You can be the most wonderful sister to Vada as well as her biggest enemy. You never want to be apart from each other. When we took you to the movies for the first time to see "Frozen" you cried from the time we dropped V off in Grasonville until we got to Annapolis. The whole day you asked when we were going back to pick her up. Your interest and intense consideration of your newest brother or sister is absolutely astounding. You had watched every single video on the baby center app within three days of finding out about the baby. You ask me every few days how big the baby is and had to have an immediate answer to where the baby was going to sleep, where it would sit in the car, and if it would go everywhere with us. I cannot wait to see you be old enough to care for your new sibling and show Vada how to be a big sister. You were born for the job.
You push Daddy and I to our utmost limits and not a day goes by that you don't spend at least 3 minutes in your room for a time out. I try to remember how much you must have going on in that little brain of yours compared to how much your body lets you do. I know it must be frustrating. You are light years ahead of any other 3 year old I have ever met.
Lucille you are the joy of my heart and it is because of you that I continue to strive to be a better mother and woman. You were the one that opened my eyes and heart to motherhood and you will always be my first. It is with you that I will experience every mother-child interaction for the first time and I pray you will have patience with me as we navigate this life together. You are teaching me as much as I try to teach you and I hope that never ends. You have so much to offer the world and other people and I will do my best to allow you to grow in that roll as much as possible. You are a wonder my love. Happiest 3rd Birthday my Beautiful Girl.

 

"And you know, I'm aglow, with a smile on my face when I think of the magic that you will make of this place. Of this town, of this world. You will transform your surroundings. That spirit inside you is truly astounding."

-The Awesome Book of Love-