Yes, they are all girls. No, they are not twins. Yes, they are all under 4. No, I don't care that we don't have a boy, and neither does my husband. I don't know when/ if we will have another but not right now, and again, no. We are not "trying for a boy."
I understand people are curious and we are quite a spectacle, especially when attention is demanded from a temper tantrum throwing toddler, or two. Sometimes I do feel like I should apologize to people in the grocery store/ library/ Target/ everywhere when someone is not behaving. But, you get to leave! All jokes aside, this is our life. It is one that was built. Not thrown at us like something out of our control. We always wanted at least 3 kids. And, quite honestly, we know how we got ourselves in this situation. I wouldn't change any of it. Yes, there are days when I don't know how I will make it to lunch, let alone bedtime. But I think even moms with one child feel that way some days. When we first brought Hazel home it all seemed manageable. Sure, there was more laundry and sometimes I would have to sit down to nurse or comfort her but she slept all the time. Then two weeks hit, James went back to work, and I was largely outnumbered. I was totally overwhelmed and taking it minute by minute.
Three months later, it's still overwhelming! But we have learned A LOT about not just surviving but thriving as a family of 5. The main lessons I learned were keep it simple and to just go with the flow. I decided to skip Christmas cards this year. The stress of getting a picture of all 3 of them, getting to the post office for stamps, and finding the time to address them all just was not a priority to me. After all, this is how an attempt at a Thanksgiving photo went... Wait, one is missing!
Keep it simple. My house is no where near as clean as I would like, or organized. But if I can get from room to room and know that all it takes is a good 15 minutes to whip it into a presentable state, I have to let it go.
One of the most challenging parts of having 3 kids this young is discipline. It is extremely hard to deal with a temper tantrum, in public, with a baby strapped to your chest and another preschooler holding your hand. Because honestly, you spend enough time getting everyone dressed, in their car seats, and into the store, to call it quits because of bad behavior. Discipline is hard, and there are a million theories of the right way to do it. And every child has their unique needs that require something different of us. My mom gave me a piece of advice I lean on daily lately, as she raised four kids of her own. In choosing when/ how to discipline, decide if it is a heart issue. (She also said that if she had dog s#$% on a plate, one of us would want a bite. Truer words have never been spoken) Heart issues. If one of the girls is doing something to hurt someone else, physically or emotionally, it is going to be dealt with immediately. If they do something out of spite, it's not going to be let go. Not telling the truth is not going to happen. But, if they make a mess or have a spill, I have taught them to just clean it up. Everyone spills and makes a mess sometimes. And when it comes to getting dressed, rain boots are totally acceptable 90% of the time now.
Sleep is another killer. Surprisingly, Hazel is not an issue. That little one can be laid down for nap and will put herself to sleep. She will sleep from 10-5 in her crib at night. Lucy has resolved her sleep issues and will nap and sleep through the night regularly. Vada, however, has different needs. She does not want to be alone in her room to sleep, nap or night. Since August, she has been fighting every nap time and waking up 2-34761346 times a night wanting to come upstairs and sleep in our bedroom. For months we fought it. I would spend 45 minutes trying to get 1 of 3 girls to nap only to have her sleep for 20 minutes, And since I had a nursing newborn, James would be getting up 5-6 times a night to put her back in her room. Then, we gave up. And everyone was happier. She started napping in my bed, and slept for 2 plus hours. She would not wake up screaming anymore and waking the entire household in the process. At night, she learned to very quietly come upstairs, grab a pillow and a blanket and pass out next to the bed. No one else was woken, no trying 37 different attempts at convincing her to stay in bed, and more rest for everyone. Since then, we talked to her about sharing a room with Lucy and if that would make her feel more secure. So, last night we made her a bed in Lucy's room, and she stayed there! She woke up twice. Once to try to climb in bed with Lucy, which is not happening as Lucy made known. And another because she forgot where she was. This morning we moved her bed frame into Lucy's room and hopefully we have resolved the issue. Although, now it's nap time and she wanted to sleep in her tent, so who knows! We're rolling with it. And now we have two playrooms.
The days are long but the years are short. We are working things out and making memories every day. Seeing how close Lucy and Vada have gotten recently makes the 16 month age gap seem like a blessing. And as Hazel starts interacting more with her older sisters, I realize that no matter how stressful this stage in our life is, we have given each of our girls the very best thing we ever could have in each other. Having three girls in 3 and a half years may drive us crazy, but they have each other. So yes, 3, 2 and 3 months is rough. But I have a feeling when 17, 16 and 14 rolls around, we still won't be sleeping.
