Playing Fair

   I am the third child of four. I learned early life is not fair. By the time there were four of us running around, playing fair pretty much went out the window and it was more survival of the fittest. An older sister stepping on your foot and pushing you backwards, breaking your toe in the process, wasn't fair. But then it probably wasn't fair of me to play cosmetologist on my little sister by Nair-ing her eyebrows... sorry for the chemical burn! Or for the countless hairdos my brother sat through as the only boy, only to be told "Be nice to your sisters" in return. Bottom line when you are a kid, though, is that fair or not, at the end of the day, you get tucked in your bed to sleep as long and deeply as you wish while your parents tip toe around and make sure all is well in the world. Well, now I am learning that the "fair rule" doesn't give grown ups a break at all and no one tip toes around me anymore.
  Jameson and I have talked a lot recently about how some people just seem to float through life without many troubles. I totally understand that everyone has issues to deal with and that just because they are not visible does not mean everything is peachy. But sometimes, what is visible, just makes you want to scream "That's not fair! It is my turn!" I am in no way writing this as a pity party for ourselves or our situation or to wish harm on anyone who is not visibly dealing with issues. I just want to be real. To let my girls know that sometimes life is not fair at all. Sometimes just when you think things are finally looking up and you are starting to get ahead, you get smacked right in the face and sent back down to start building up again.
   We have so much to be thankful for in this family. I have two beautiful girls who are healthy. A husband who is working more overtime than regular hours lately, just trying to get us ahead. To be completely honest, though, the more he works, the harder we get smacked. It is as if someone is watching the scales and realizing, hey wait this side is starting to come up, better mess up the heat pump and send a $700 electric bill their way! But, as Jameson always reminds me, we make it. We always make it somehow. Just when my serious doubt face turns on and the tears are on the brink, something comes from out of the blue and we scrape by. Everytime.
   So, my little ladies, fret not. Mama has learned first hand that life is not fair. I promise to be there to teach and remind you to be nice to each other and take turns, but I will not do you the unjustice of promising things are equal. When you are small, I will tip toe around when you are sleeping and make sure all is right in your world. When you are older, I promise to remind you that things have a way of working themselves out and you will get by. I won't be able to tell the world and everyone you encounter to play fair with you, as much as I wish I could. I promise to listen and get angry with you when you get the short end of the stick, but I won't apologize for it. Because as Daddy and I are learning, as much as it would be nice to "float" for a little while, we would not change a thing about our life for the world. After all, we got the two most loving, hilarious, beautiful little ladies the world has to offer... and that is just not fair to everyone else.