Today

   Lucy went on the potty for the first time today. In the moment, I could not have been more excited or proud of her. For the past six days she has started saying potty A LOT and every time, no matter what we are in the middle of or where we are, we stop and run to the bathroom to give her the chance. Needless to say, its a bit of a chore but totally worth it if she thinks she is ready. I had been thinking she just liked the undivided attention and immediate reaction she could get out of Jameson and I when she said it but this morning she actually meant it. I could not believe that my little 17 month old baby girl actually did it. Then, of course, I get super sentimental about the fact that this is already happening. It happens to me all the time. I push Lucy to learn something new or do something independently then when she does I change my mind. She is so far from "baby" in everything she does and I have a really hard time accepting that.
   I think having Vada so closely behind having Lucy made Lucy grow up faster. Maybe it is just the way things happen with the first baby. You get so excited for them to do the next thing because it is the first time you are experiencing it with your child. I am sure in some ways it's good but I don't want to push her to grow up at all. I want her to still want us to rock her to sleep for every nap and bedtime. I will always want her to reach for my hand every time we walk around in public. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I haven't been up for a couple of hours with Vada. Is she already past that? Yes, I look forward to her sleeping through the night someday and most days I am exhausted from being up with her. But that's what tiny babies do. On the nights when she was up, I would remind myself that I was doing exactly what I had hoped to be doing. I remember saying I couldn't wait to lay her on my chest and rock her. So what if it is 3:45am.
  So when I saw the following picture, today of all days, it made me want to stop time. I recently read in another blog something that made total sense to me, "In a way it helps me "be okay" as the kids grow, as we change, as we move forward....it's been captured in a photograph....and with this blog, feelings were captured as well." I know there are people who think I share too much on this blog. I am sure people disagree with how we are raising our babies. But this is for us. I love the comments, I really do. But even if no one else ever read this, I do. I have already gone back to older posts and forgotten the things I wrote about at that time. My point in starting this was to remember all the little things. I haven't been so great at that but it is my goal to start.
  So today... Lucy went on the potty for the first time. Vada is much more content after starting medicine for reflux yesterday and has been super smiley, despite having a cold. Jameson got up at 5:50am with Lucy to let me sleep with Vada. We get to go out to dinner tonight as a family with Jameson's parents. And then I will rock my babies to sleep, just like every night for as long as they let me.