Protected

Sweetest baby,
    You are so loved. You are worrying your mama sick these last couple of days. The last real "oh, that's baby!" move was three days ago and I have been trying everything to get you to give me a roll or nudge or something in the days since. Of course, I have read a ton about you and it seems lots of babes slow down about this time and rest up during a growth spurt. You have a couple more days of leisure than its high time to start reminding me you are ok in there. You see, baby, this family is already so very attached to you, as if you are already here. Your Daddy has felt you move twice in the last week and has already started rubbing Mama's belly for all the stretching your growing results in. He holds you at night while we sleep and talks about all the little baby things he can't wait to experience with you. Lucy talks to you, lays on you, and pushes you around in there every day. She tells me how much she loves you and has already asked to help with diaper changes and even offered you her baby doll this morning, big deal little one. Yesterday she brought your piggy bank upstairs to Mama and Daddy's room because she knows you will sleep with us. She is looking forward to sitting next to you in the car and feeding you bottles when Mama and Daddy go on dates. You will forever be taken care in your big sister.

 Vada is the one constantly kneeing or elbowing you. She has one time said that you are a baby boy and your name will be Otis. Speaking of Otis, he's looking out for you too. He rarely leaves Mama's side all day, which is what those quick, almost-trips are from you may feel in there. When Mama lays down to rest he is right beside the bed, ignoring his own bed a few feet away.

   I read your sisters a book that starts with the line "I wanted you more than you ever will know so I sent love to follow wherever you go." I think of you every time. You are the baby we prayed so hard for. TThe one we are not taking a single day for granted. Maybe that's why I am pressuring you to move. I need your reminders. I need the reassurance of your presence and constant growth.

Baby #3 update

Here we are between 17 and 18 weeks. I have a felt some movement in the past week and a half but it's feeling more like waves of movement than specific kicks or punches. Yes, I am actually looking forward to those :) We had a midwife appointment on Monday and baby's heartbeat was 140 (for anyone wondering, the girls were always always 160, not that it changes my mind) and we both checked out well. Not sure how I am measuring because the midwife made my week/ pregnancy/ life by saying I had abs of steel and she couldn't feel where my uterus was. Score for a mom of three! See, pilates does make a difference people! More exciting, however, was scheduling our anatomy scan for April 29, only a week and a half more!!! I still am convinced baby is a girl, as does Lucy, but James and the midwife seem to think boy. Whomever is in there is getting on a nerve, literally. I woke up one day last week with a completely numb left foot and a few days later had the same thing all down my right leg and into my foot. Stretching and pilates definitely seem to be helping and although I tried a chiropractor when I was pregnant with Vada, it hasn't gotten to that point yet. The hormones are in full swing and I am blaming my highly emotional state on baby's growth spurt that happens between 16 and 20 weeks. In better news, I now wake up feeling rested in the morning which is a true blessing. Now if we could just get the skin issues to clear up...
  Everyone in this family is so excited to be adding the next member. Lucy is already super attached to the baby and lays on my belly trying to hear something almost every day. The other day I told her I loved her so much and she said well I love the baby so much. Vada has been lifting up her shirt and saying "In here" whenever we ask her where the baby is. We have settled on names both for a boy or girl and are eagerly awaiting next Tuesday.
  I am now in the wonderfully "manageable" stage of pregnancy where my bump is the perfect size and I only get really uncomfortable right about the time the girls go down for bed. I am loving being pregnant, as always, and look forward to the next big moments of kicks and rolls and finding out just who is in there. For now, we'll all look forward to Easter weekend and a much needed mini vacation to the beach next weekend :)

15 Weeks with #3

This is the first blog post I have written about baby #3. I have recorded a few things personally but putting this out there for the world, this is a first. See, even though it's our 3rd baby, it's all new this time around. It's a fourth pregnancy. It's our rainbow baby. It's realizing the true miracle and fragility of it all and how quickly and without warning it can be taken away. It's setting numerous milestones and passing each one. It's not taking a single day, or symptom, for granted. It's allowing myself to become connected to this baby.
The first trimester was rough; physically and emotionally. I was sick 24 hours a day from 7-9ish weeks and still sick at some point of the day until week 15. I was exhausted, that has not stopped. I was worried every second of every day and can admit I did not let myself get to excited or attached. We made it to week 13. Then got a phone call. I had tested positive for Factor 5 Leiden, a genetic blood disorder. I was being sent to a maternal and fetal specialist in the next few days. The fact that I had already grown and delivered Lucy and Vada perfectly gave me little comfort, because one I had not. The appointment consisted of an extensive ultrasound which showed a perfectly proportioned, healthy, beautiful baby. The doctor told me to do nothing differently.

So here we are. Two weeks into the second trimester and growing by the day. I am completely exhausted by the end of the day but I blame that as much on the older two than baby. Some days I cannot get enough to eat and others I only eat at meal times. I have had to ask for help from James in stopping the sour patch bites addiction but allow myself as much spicy food as I can consume. I feel like my belly is HUGE but am not complaining one bit about that. I keep wondering why a baby the size of an apple needs room the size of a basketball. I feel very lucky to not have too many aches and pains yet and pilates seems to be helping most that I do experience. James and I have picked out the boy name for sure and are back and forth on a couple of girls names. I think baby is a girl, as does Lucy, but James thinks boy. We should be finding out in the next few weeks. This baby will be delivered at Special Beginnings birth center which I am really excited about. I feel completely at ease there and look forward to being in the most home-like setting covered by insurance. Unfortunately, home births are not.
This week I am most looking forward to finally feeling the baby move and starting to research some things that we will need to buy to prepare for this baby. Some things just don't make it to a third baby I have learned. All for now!

To Lucille, on your 3rd birthday

What a woman! Or should I say lady. You truly are a remarkable little lady in every sense of the word. Your favorite color is pink and nail polish, lip gloss, and make-up do not stand a chance in your reach. You are debating wanting earrings on a weekly basis and most recently decided you only want one like Poppy has. You had your first haircut the week before your birthday after much deliberation and when we left you told me, "See Mom, I love having my hair cut." You asked to go back the next day.
Your third birthday party was a tea party complete with hats, gloves, and jewelry for the little ladies and bow ties for the gentlemen. You loved every tiny detail of picking out recipes and planning for the big day. The entire week before every morning you would follow your good morning with a "is it my birthday today?"
Your manners are impeccable when you want to use them and you remind me daily to be an example to you of what a lady says and does. Most often in the car when I lose my patience you tell me, "Mom, girls don't say that." When you really like whatever meal Daddy or I have prepared you tell us thank you for making this dinner/lunch. Your tastes are more attuned to daddy's cooking than mama's meaning you love home cooked meals of meat and potatoes. Your current favorites are lamb chops, pot roast, and any sort of potato. You ask for either oatmeal or yogurt every morning for breakfast and help me set and empty the table for most meals.
I still rock you to sleep for every nap but at bed time lately you have been asking to be laid down in bed after reading a story. That doesn't stop you from talking to yourself or singing until as late as 10pm some nights.
Some of my favorite Lucy sayings lately include... "You are most welcome," "Sorry about that mom," and "Never."
You can be the most wonderful sister to Vada as well as her biggest enemy. You never want to be apart from each other. When we took you to the movies for the first time to see "Frozen" you cried from the time we dropped V off in Grasonville until we got to Annapolis. The whole day you asked when we were going back to pick her up. Your interest and intense consideration of your newest brother or sister is absolutely astounding. You had watched every single video on the baby center app within three days of finding out about the baby. You ask me every few days how big the baby is and had to have an immediate answer to where the baby was going to sleep, where it would sit in the car, and if it would go everywhere with us. I cannot wait to see you be old enough to care for your new sibling and show Vada how to be a big sister. You were born for the job.
You push Daddy and I to our utmost limits and not a day goes by that you don't spend at least 3 minutes in your room for a time out. I try to remember how much you must have going on in that little brain of yours compared to how much your body lets you do. I know it must be frustrating. You are light years ahead of any other 3 year old I have ever met.
Lucille you are the joy of my heart and it is because of you that I continue to strive to be a better mother and woman. You were the one that opened my eyes and heart to motherhood and you will always be my first. It is with you that I will experience every mother-child interaction for the first time and I pray you will have patience with me as we navigate this life together. You are teaching me as much as I try to teach you and I hope that never ends. You have so much to offer the world and other people and I will do my best to allow you to grow in that roll as much as possible. You are a wonder my love. Happiest 3rd Birthday my Beautiful Girl.

 

"And you know, I'm aglow, with a smile on my face when I think of the magic that you will make of this place. Of this town, of this world. You will transform your surroundings. That spirit inside you is truly astounding."

-The Awesome Book of Love-

Life Lately

Somehow I caught this moment this morning. It is basically the opposite of how life is lately. Lucy never sits still and although we read together several times a day, I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen her sit down and read long enough to grab a camera. Funny.

I feel like so much in the past couple of weeks "deserve" their own post. Whatever that means. I suppose since rather big milestones are being met over here I give them more blog attention in my head than I am able to keep up with. This will have to do, as well as the photo deficit. 

Vada started walking two weekends ago. 13 months old. She had shown absolutely no interest in it and would even sit down and pout whenever I tried to get her to practice. Then, Friday came and she stood up and walked across the family room. By Saturday afternoon she was walking the length of the driveway and dancing to the music we had on. What a woman. Her personality is shining through and we are starting to see just how ornery, rambuncious, and LOUD she can be. She stands up for herself during playtime, loves Otis unconditionally, and gives me a big, gapped tooth smile anytime she sees me watching her. Her vocabulary is expanding during the day and she has started repeating most words we say to her. Clear statements include; love you, night night, all done, more, mine, chocolate, stop that, what's that, no no no, Otis, shoes. She may not say it yet but she also hightails it to the kitchen anytime I say ice cream.

Lucille started dance classes last Monday. She had been telling anyone and everyone she saw that she was going to be a ballerina. First day of classes, pink leotard, hair in a bun, she marched right in and sat through the entire class. Maybe not actively participating in every aspect but there nonetheless and taking it all in. Yesterday was a nightmare. Enough said. We are going back next week.

I had a birthday yesterday. James and I were able to spend some time together Sunday to celebrate while the girls spent the day with their grandparents. We wasted almost the entire day doing nothing important and it was perfect. We went to Joss for dinner and stopped for a drink on the way home. Lucy had made me brownies and a card and wrapped a little present while I was gone. Guess she was planning ahead for her behavior on my actual birthday. James made up for it, though, by bringing me home champagne and cheesecake. All is well.

I was contacted by a woman who had taken my pilates class previously about starting teaching again. It was just the boost I needed to get back out there and now I am doing private pilates sessions as well as preparing to have my very own, once a week class. So far I have only had one teaching session but it has been a welcome return to something I love doing. I hope other people find the same sense of calm and contentment I find after a session.

I feel like our family is finally in a peaceful lull. Not every day is peaceful but I am finding that we are content where we are right now. I am loving having two toddlers that are finding more independence every day. While I love having a tiny baby to hold and nurse, having two children at the age to run and play is a welcome change I am realizing I truly enjoy. Ever since James and I got married, I feel like we have constantly been looking to what's next and, sometimes, failing to appreciate the season we were in. Maybe that's what the last year has taught me and I am looking forward to seeing what the next will bring.

Hello again! And some changes...

We are still here! I finally decided to just do what I could with this blog using this tablet I am stuck with. I no longer have any control over formatting, where pictures are inserted, or anything to make each post appear a little more interesting but today I realized that all of those above complaints are not why I started this blog in the first place. I let my frustration get the better side of me and haven't even attempted to write down some of the things that have been going on with our family, our girls, and our life in the two months. Well, I am back! I had a little attitude adjustment after realizing how much I miss this space and being able to look over posts from years ago and see what I chose to write down to remember. I haven't been taking as many pictures of the girls since I stopped blogging which is just inexcusable.

I have some new ideas for what I am going to share on here. Of course it will still be mainly focused on our family and the funny things the girls are saying and doing but I am thinking about adding some new topics; cooking, projects we are working on, a little more detailed accounts of how we spend our time, learning to live simply. Not sure exactly where I am headed but I would love to have you follow along!

Below is the most recent picture I have taken of the girls... more to come!

Ocean City 2013

Best. Year. Ever. Having Lucy and Vada at the ages they are made this Ocean City vacation this best one yet for our family by far. The girls both loved spending the days on the beach, falling asleep during long walks with daddy or mama, playing in the water hole, and eating whatever snacks they could get their hands on. Vada must have eaten half of the coastline's worth of sand as it seemed to be her dip of choice for anything she was eating. She also LOVED the water and would crawl straight into it any time we let her. Lucy is not a big swimmer because the water was "too cold" so she would just find things to do in the sand. The weather was uncharacteristically chilly and one day I had them on the beach in long sleeved shirts and shorts to play.

We were able to take them bike riding on the boardwalk one morning which Lucy loved. Her bike riding was very distracted by everything to look at though so she quickly switched into the bike trailer beside sleeping beauty Belle.

One evening we took the girls down on the beach after they had eaten and had baths and spent a couple of hours just hanging out as a family. Without a doubt the best night we had. Seeing my girls be content just to play on the beach or watch the water or chase seagulls or listen to music with James and I made me realize just how blessed I am to be raising these two little ladies. I love the life that James and I are working on creating with them and the chance to go to Ocean City with his family to make memories.

On this trip, having just lost James' Nonno weeks before, the family took one of the kites that Nonno had built down on the beach one evening. After attaching one of Nonna's bras, the kite was let out to the end of the line and cut free.