Me and My Girl

It finally feels real. 23 weeks deep and I am so in love with this little lady. Something in the last couple of weeks has finally clicked and I am now picturing the baby girl growing inside my belly. Her movement has really picked up which is no less amazing this time around than the first. James feels her move almost every night and Lucy got to feel a kick while I was rocking her one day. She has asked to feel it again every day since. She also comes up to me throughout the day and puts her hand on my belly and says, "I love her."
We decided on her name and I am so afraid of blurting it out when I am around our family and friends because she already seems to be THAT. Picking up an outfit here or there and choosing swings, bedding and blankets... she is on her way.
A friend of ours took some maternity photos for us last weekend. They turned out beautifully and although some will not be shared, I could not help but get tears in my eyes as I saw how this baby is changing my body. I absolutely love being pregnant, despite the swelling, discomfort, and inability to get dressed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love you little one.

 

 

This Man turns 28

Happy Birthday, you stud you

Half way to meeting our little lady

Little Miss Hunter, our third beautiful baby girl. Thanks for being so cooperative during the ultrasound. You must have really wanted to let us know who you were. You checked out perfectly and surprised no one with being a little lady. Hopefully, your low heart rate and general lack of movement mean you are taking a little more after your mama and daddy than your two older sisters. A relaxed, laid back baby would be a welcome change, sweets. So, we had a little party on your behalf with your grandparents and some of your cousins and aunt and uncle. When I really think about it, it is kind of weird to have a party about someone's lady parts. First and last my dear. I am having fun looking for some clothes for you that are not obnoxiously girly. I have about had my fill of neon pink baby clothes. We bought you a few things over the weekend and I am getting excited to see you in them. My favorite purchase, as with your sisters, was your baby blanket. I put a lot of thought into those, for some reason, so I hope you like it as much as Daddy and I do. You really are pretty easy on Mama for the most part these days. I have had to stop worrying about how little you move in there and just enjoy only being punched and climbed on from the outside for now. The midwives let me know I have an anterior placenta so that is acting like a cushion between you and my belly. You went almost two weeks only moving a handful of times that I could feel but I am trusting you are growing well. I know one thing, you are making me TIRED. Good gracious, I think you would be happy if all I did was sleep. I am sleeping plenty at night but I am dragging through every day lately. Daddy says I look out of it 90% of the time lately. The only other thing I can contribute to you is my need for spicy food, which cannot be satisfied. I don't know what to give you to turn this off but I am not even phased lately by the spiciest of foods Daddy and I can come up with. You also are demanding I eat vegetables but not much else. Bowls full of broccoli? Really? This is definitely the first time in my life I have to remember to eat enough. Your sisters are becoming more and more interested in you as my belly grows, Lucy especially. She talks to you and about you everyday and is eagerly awaiting the day you give her a good kick. Mama is feeling an immense amount of responsibility as the reality of having three little women is settling in. Trying to be the best example of what a woman, wife and mother should be is a daily challenge to me as I know you all will be watching me to learn both what to do and what not to do. From the clothes I wear to the words I choose I am constantly on observation by three of the most important people in my life. I know I am shaping you into who you will be even as you are growing in my belly and I both fear and anticipate continuing to do so as you and your sisters grow. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved little one. I will be dreaming of you until I see your precious face.

Protected

Sweetest baby,
    You are so loved. You are worrying your mama sick these last couple of days. The last real "oh, that's baby!" move was three days ago and I have been trying everything to get you to give me a roll or nudge or something in the days since. Of course, I have read a ton about you and it seems lots of babes slow down about this time and rest up during a growth spurt. You have a couple more days of leisure than its high time to start reminding me you are ok in there. You see, baby, this family is already so very attached to you, as if you are already here. Your Daddy has felt you move twice in the last week and has already started rubbing Mama's belly for all the stretching your growing results in. He holds you at night while we sleep and talks about all the little baby things he can't wait to experience with you. Lucy talks to you, lays on you, and pushes you around in there every day. She tells me how much she loves you and has already asked to help with diaper changes and even offered you her baby doll this morning, big deal little one. Yesterday she brought your piggy bank upstairs to Mama and Daddy's room because she knows you will sleep with us. She is looking forward to sitting next to you in the car and feeding you bottles when Mama and Daddy go on dates. You will forever be taken care in your big sister.

 Vada is the one constantly kneeing or elbowing you. She has one time said that you are a baby boy and your name will be Otis. Speaking of Otis, he's looking out for you too. He rarely leaves Mama's side all day, which is what those quick, almost-trips are from you may feel in there. When Mama lays down to rest he is right beside the bed, ignoring his own bed a few feet away.

   I read your sisters a book that starts with the line "I wanted you more than you ever will know so I sent love to follow wherever you go." I think of you every time. You are the baby we prayed so hard for. TThe one we are not taking a single day for granted. Maybe that's why I am pressuring you to move. I need your reminders. I need the reassurance of your presence and constant growth.

Baby #3 update

Here we are between 17 and 18 weeks. I have a felt some movement in the past week and a half but it's feeling more like waves of movement than specific kicks or punches. Yes, I am actually looking forward to those :) We had a midwife appointment on Monday and baby's heartbeat was 140 (for anyone wondering, the girls were always always 160, not that it changes my mind) and we both checked out well. Not sure how I am measuring because the midwife made my week/ pregnancy/ life by saying I had abs of steel and she couldn't feel where my uterus was. Score for a mom of three! See, pilates does make a difference people! More exciting, however, was scheduling our anatomy scan for April 29, only a week and a half more!!! I still am convinced baby is a girl, as does Lucy, but James and the midwife seem to think boy. Whomever is in there is getting on a nerve, literally. I woke up one day last week with a completely numb left foot and a few days later had the same thing all down my right leg and into my foot. Stretching and pilates definitely seem to be helping and although I tried a chiropractor when I was pregnant with Vada, it hasn't gotten to that point yet. The hormones are in full swing and I am blaming my highly emotional state on baby's growth spurt that happens between 16 and 20 weeks. In better news, I now wake up feeling rested in the morning which is a true blessing. Now if we could just get the skin issues to clear up...
  Everyone in this family is so excited to be adding the next member. Lucy is already super attached to the baby and lays on my belly trying to hear something almost every day. The other day I told her I loved her so much and she said well I love the baby so much. Vada has been lifting up her shirt and saying "In here" whenever we ask her where the baby is. We have settled on names both for a boy or girl and are eagerly awaiting next Tuesday.
  I am now in the wonderfully "manageable" stage of pregnancy where my bump is the perfect size and I only get really uncomfortable right about the time the girls go down for bed. I am loving being pregnant, as always, and look forward to the next big moments of kicks and rolls and finding out just who is in there. For now, we'll all look forward to Easter weekend and a much needed mini vacation to the beach next weekend :)

15 Weeks with #3

This is the first blog post I have written about baby #3. I have recorded a few things personally but putting this out there for the world, this is a first. See, even though it's our 3rd baby, it's all new this time around. It's a fourth pregnancy. It's our rainbow baby. It's realizing the true miracle and fragility of it all and how quickly and without warning it can be taken away. It's setting numerous milestones and passing each one. It's not taking a single day, or symptom, for granted. It's allowing myself to become connected to this baby.
The first trimester was rough; physically and emotionally. I was sick 24 hours a day from 7-9ish weeks and still sick at some point of the day until week 15. I was exhausted, that has not stopped. I was worried every second of every day and can admit I did not let myself get to excited or attached. We made it to week 13. Then got a phone call. I had tested positive for Factor 5 Leiden, a genetic blood disorder. I was being sent to a maternal and fetal specialist in the next few days. The fact that I had already grown and delivered Lucy and Vada perfectly gave me little comfort, because one I had not. The appointment consisted of an extensive ultrasound which showed a perfectly proportioned, healthy, beautiful baby. The doctor told me to do nothing differently.

So here we are. Two weeks into the second trimester and growing by the day. I am completely exhausted by the end of the day but I blame that as much on the older two than baby. Some days I cannot get enough to eat and others I only eat at meal times. I have had to ask for help from James in stopping the sour patch bites addiction but allow myself as much spicy food as I can consume. I feel like my belly is HUGE but am not complaining one bit about that. I keep wondering why a baby the size of an apple needs room the size of a basketball. I feel very lucky to not have too many aches and pains yet and pilates seems to be helping most that I do experience. James and I have picked out the boy name for sure and are back and forth on a couple of girls names. I think baby is a girl, as does Lucy, but James thinks boy. We should be finding out in the next few weeks. This baby will be delivered at Special Beginnings birth center which I am really excited about. I feel completely at ease there and look forward to being in the most home-like setting covered by insurance. Unfortunately, home births are not.
This week I am most looking forward to finally feeling the baby move and starting to research some things that we will need to buy to prepare for this baby. Some things just don't make it to a third baby I have learned. All for now!

To Lucille, on your 3rd birthday

What a woman! Or should I say lady. You truly are a remarkable little lady in every sense of the word. Your favorite color is pink and nail polish, lip gloss, and make-up do not stand a chance in your reach. You are debating wanting earrings on a weekly basis and most recently decided you only want one like Poppy has. You had your first haircut the week before your birthday after much deliberation and when we left you told me, "See Mom, I love having my hair cut." You asked to go back the next day.
Your third birthday party was a tea party complete with hats, gloves, and jewelry for the little ladies and bow ties for the gentlemen. You loved every tiny detail of picking out recipes and planning for the big day. The entire week before every morning you would follow your good morning with a "is it my birthday today?"
Your manners are impeccable when you want to use them and you remind me daily to be an example to you of what a lady says and does. Most often in the car when I lose my patience you tell me, "Mom, girls don't say that." When you really like whatever meal Daddy or I have prepared you tell us thank you for making this dinner/lunch. Your tastes are more attuned to daddy's cooking than mama's meaning you love home cooked meals of meat and potatoes. Your current favorites are lamb chops, pot roast, and any sort of potato. You ask for either oatmeal or yogurt every morning for breakfast and help me set and empty the table for most meals.
I still rock you to sleep for every nap but at bed time lately you have been asking to be laid down in bed after reading a story. That doesn't stop you from talking to yourself or singing until as late as 10pm some nights.
Some of my favorite Lucy sayings lately include... "You are most welcome," "Sorry about that mom," and "Never."
You can be the most wonderful sister to Vada as well as her biggest enemy. You never want to be apart from each other. When we took you to the movies for the first time to see "Frozen" you cried from the time we dropped V off in Grasonville until we got to Annapolis. The whole day you asked when we were going back to pick her up. Your interest and intense consideration of your newest brother or sister is absolutely astounding. You had watched every single video on the baby center app within three days of finding out about the baby. You ask me every few days how big the baby is and had to have an immediate answer to where the baby was going to sleep, where it would sit in the car, and if it would go everywhere with us. I cannot wait to see you be old enough to care for your new sibling and show Vada how to be a big sister. You were born for the job.
You push Daddy and I to our utmost limits and not a day goes by that you don't spend at least 3 minutes in your room for a time out. I try to remember how much you must have going on in that little brain of yours compared to how much your body lets you do. I know it must be frustrating. You are light years ahead of any other 3 year old I have ever met.
Lucille you are the joy of my heart and it is because of you that I continue to strive to be a better mother and woman. You were the one that opened my eyes and heart to motherhood and you will always be my first. It is with you that I will experience every mother-child interaction for the first time and I pray you will have patience with me as we navigate this life together. You are teaching me as much as I try to teach you and I hope that never ends. You have so much to offer the world and other people and I will do my best to allow you to grow in that roll as much as possible. You are a wonder my love. Happiest 3rd Birthday my Beautiful Girl.

 

"And you know, I'm aglow, with a smile on my face when I think of the magic that you will make of this place. Of this town, of this world. You will transform your surroundings. That spirit inside you is truly astounding."

-The Awesome Book of Love-